#prayforboston

I woke up this morning pissy that I wasn't going to be attending the Boston Marathon.  This would be the first time since I was 22 that I would not go into the city.  I whined at GM about it (who decided to work from home as well) and then grudgingly got on a conference call.  Around 11AM, I watched the winners cross the finish line, cried (sporting event winners make me misty), and then turned to him and said we HAD to make sure we took the day next year to go.

See, Marathon Monday in Boston is one of my favorite days of the year.  Non-MA people find this odd, since I don't run marathons. But Marathon Monday is a delightful mix of athletes and spectators, people doing something amazing and people happy to witness that.  The air vibrates in Boston on this day.  Roof decks and patios are open and we gather as amazing runners, spectators, drinkers, and cheerleaders...supporting friends and perfect strangers alike. 

Today, On April 15th, 2013, the first Marathon Monday I did not attend in 8 years, someone bombed the finish line.  But that's is not what this post is about.  It is not about who did this or what I would like to do to them.  It is not about the horrific scenes Bostonians had to witness today, or the fear that terror inspires.  We can talk about that for years to come. 

This is about the good that the Boston Marathon brings.  I want to record how I feel about it so that I don't lose it. 

My first marathon was actually before I was of drinking age.  A few friends from high school and I went to see Will Ferrell running.  Little did we know, that was impossible.  But as we stood there watching these amazing athletes, running more than I drive in a week, I was beside myself in awe.  These were regular people doing something just so NOT regular.  And for the day, they take off their  heels, ties, and uniforms and they become super heroes. 

The next time I went, we happened to be at mile 26.1 in time to watch the winners cross.  I saw a woman (Kenyan, of course) running so fast, it looked subhuman.  She was running- no- she was gliding, with a huge smile on her face, like she could do another 26 and would not be tired.  I watched the first 5 women cross, and I just got all weepy, so proud of these perfect strangers for accomplishing something so magnificent. 

After that day, LG and I made this a bit of a tradition.  One year I went in to support a friend from college.  We tracked his miles and found him on heartbreak hill, and ran along side him, screaming cheers of support to get him over what can only feel like a mountain at that stage of the race.  The year I started dating GM, we went to the marathon and drank up and down Boylston.  It was the first day I had met most of his co-workers.  Last year we ended up on a roof deck by Fenway with dozens of mutual friends from all areas of life, just hanging out, loving life and loving the city.  This was an event that has been crime free, tragedy free, and just a celebration of sport and achievement. 

It is difficult, knowing  what it is like to stand on the sidewalk, in awe of the competitors, not to feel violated by the thought that someone could blow them up.  That it could have been anyone.  That a child watching this, and maybe feeling the same level of amazement I did the first time I saw the finishers, would have had their lives forever altered, or ended, in that same moment.

Its difficult to find any sliver lining, and maybe too soon to look.  But I am adamant that this day will be a day again where you are proud of your fellow man, even if you don't know them.  Where you can revel in the achievement of humans, and friends, and life.  That is the feeling terrorism tries to take from us.  My heart breaks for the city of Boston today.  But maybe we will learn something from the runners today about never giving up. 

Delores Umbridge takes over Yahoo and makes it a bad place to work

In my head, Yahoo went by way of AOL years ago.  I’m impressed they still have a company at all, but they do, and they decided to make a really forward decision and select a female CEO….who apparently thinks entirely backwards. 

Marissa Mayer (no relation to John) decided this morning that Yahoo employees could no longer work from home.  They had to show up to the office…or quit.  Mayer’s decision to do this is apparently to attempt to revive Yahoo.  Good luck, lady.  You just made a decision that not only hurts your work force- it promotes inept management.

That’s right- this decision will do nothing but inspire more mediocre managers within Yahoo.  Good managers set goals and tasks that are clear and measurable for their teams.  Shitty managers don’t do this and then they need to see you in the office to track your every move to make sure you are working.  How do I know?  Experience- I’ve been there!

Ironically, I had previous employment at a remote access company (company A) who also did not let their employees work from home (another genius decision).  Since I was coming from a different collaboration company (company B) who encouraged this practice- it took some getting used to.  Seeing both sides of the coin here, I have to say- employees at company B were less burnt out, happier, more effective, and frankly- screwed off less.  Employees at Company A had way more bad days, got frustrated easily, took longer lunches, did more online shopping, and broke off into “rage meetings” more often (meetings with each other about how stupid something is, how stupid someone is, or their general and mutual thoughts of suicide).  Other findings were that management at company B was way better.  We had set goals, timelines and achievements.  At company A, we had that stuff on paper, but not in practice.  My manager was inexperienced, non-communicative, and, well….kind of a dick...But I digress. 

Bottom line- reporting to the office every to be seen at your desk is just foolish.  It makes employees feel like they are being babysat.  Grown people know what they have to organize and get accomplished.  If that means they occasionally have to put in a day from home because their life warrants it, let them.  Just make sure they are clear on the tasks they need to get done and measure those tasks.  It’s not about where you work- its what you produce for the organization that counts!

Now that my current job has me traveling all over God’s green earth, the ability to work from home gives me some sanity when I am back from those trips.  On days I do this my productivity is not less than when I am in the office.  In fact, I notice on days I work from home, I am actually logged on longer than I am from the office.  Other benefits include:

 

-          An easier commute (it’s exactly 34 steps between my bedroom and my home office)
-          An earlier start time (I get ready much faster by forgoing makeup and hair)
-          The ability to get in a run or attend a workout class (yeah, because we don’t want to die at our jobs, Marissa)
-          Better organization (folding laundry while on a conference call never hurt anyone- it’s not my fault I was born with the ability to multi-task)
-          Environmental benefits (my carbon footprint is no small thing, but I save on emissions by WFH)

Marissa Mayer’s next decree is to replace ball point pens with feather quills and touch tone phones with the old reliable rotary dial...What a yahoo... (see what I did there?)

 

Margaret Lyons hates women

I decided today I hate Margaret Lyons.  I don’t know or follow Margret Lyons, but I have a good feeling she is one of those people whose face always looks like she is eating a lemon and has an odd sense of entitlement nobody can put a finger on. Lyons blog response to Seth MacFarlane's hosting the Oscars is setting women back and frankly I feel we are owed an apology for her irresponsible writing.   (Her stupid blog is here: http://www.vulture.com/2013/02/why-seth-macfarlanes-misogyny-matters.html)

Having worked in male dominated companies for my entire career, I am not stranger to chauvinism, misogyny, male ego, or locker room banter.  As much of that I have experienced, I am lucky to have mostly worked with kind and intelligent men who are not threatened by strong women.  I really hate whiney women.  This post is not about Seth MacFarlane's Oscar hosting.  I feel as though if the producers had ever see anything Seth MacFarlane was remotely responsible for, they would have known the entire event would be filled with the juvenile, tasteless humor we come to love from the creator of Peter Griffin.  If they wanted it classy, hire someone classy.  If you wanted "Ted"….you got him. 

But then you get Margret Lyons writing her blog post about how misogynistic this was and how wrong that is.  What women need to understand is your whiny attitude about this kind of thing does more harm than good.  You are the bad female apple spoiling my vagina barrel (…that was graphic).  Why?  Because you lack basic coping skills and that does not make you the equal of men- it makes you weak.  And it puts a huge magnifying glass on the weaknesses of our sex- which makes me want to kick your ass in an alley until you toughen up.  Below are my responses, and 3 life rules for Margaret Lyons.

In response to the low -brow “we saw your boobs” song MacFarlane opened with, Lyons says “… after 30 or so years, this stuff doesn't feel like joking. It's dehumanizing and humiliating”.  Wow…Lady, you have a lot of issues wrapped up in your boobs.  This song was tasteless and childish, but I am not ashamed or humiliated as a woman that someone sang a song about boobs.  Go into any 5^th grade classroom and you will probably hear a similar ditty.  I feel bad for people who would only see me for my (amazing) breasts, but these are people I don’t need to acknowledge.  This is more offensive to grown men in the room than it was to women because most men over 14 years of age don’t think like that (fine, 22 years of age…27….whatever).   Rule #1: As a woman, you will always be objectified.  Find a way to use it to your advantage, and find a way to cope with it because these behaviors don’t go away by whining about them.  You take away their power by being stronger than the words.    

Apparently, according to Lyons, MacFarlane also over-complimented the most stunning women in Hollywood.  “Well, thank God, because what matters to all women is that we look good for Seth MacFarlane. How many women did he introduce over the course of the night by mentioning how they looked: "Please welcome the lovely ___ ," "the beautiful ______"? How many men?”

Prior to the Oscars was an extravagant red carpet show in which actresses talked about who they were wearing, how long it took them to get ready, and put their fingers in the “Mani-cam” so we could see nails and diamonds.  If I went through all of that- someone sure as shit better call me “the lovely”.  Rule #2: As a woman, it does fucking matter if you look good!  You don’t have to be the thinnest or the prettiest, but you better have your shit put together because otherwise people will talk.  And people talk about men too because it matters how you look on the outside if you want people to take you seriously.  It may not be fair, but it’s true- SO COPE. 

And then my favorite part- Margret’s dreams and wishes: “I dream of someday watching women win all the non-performance categories, of women making as many films as men do, of women and men being nominated for a comparable number of awards.”  Well then you know what Mags, get out of their way.  Women don’t get to do that stuff because they are women.  They get to do that stuff because they are GOOD enough to do it.  It’s not about the penis.  If you want to get the recognition, the award, the role, the pay, the anything- BE the best.  Rule #3: it’s not fair, get over it.  It is still a man’s world and the only way that equalizes is by being the undisputed BEST.  It’s getting the outfit, the makeup, the education, the experience- but more importantly the swagger- and after you have all of that and you are exhausted and want to be done- THEN you have to do the job twice as good.

It’s not easy, but you don’t get there by whining or pointing and tattling that the mean man made a boob joke.  Margret Lyons is impeding progress.  Learn to overcome the boob joke, develop a skin, stay focused- and then maybe women have a shot.