Friday, January 15, 2010

My Journey with MTV's Jersey Shore!

When I was in middle school MTV began producing a show called "The Real World". I watched the first season, which was a fairly accurate depiction of a few select people trying to live together in a sweet house, while drinking nightly to lower their inhibitions and make some bad decisions in the hot tub (the best shows have hot tubs).

I stopped watching after that season because the subtleties died. Its no mystery what will happen when you cram a house with a clan member, african american, right wing gay- hater, flamboyant queen, devil worshiper, and bible beating christian who sees jesus in her toast. The psychological nuances of interpersonal relationships became a common day 'bread and circus' which I protested. However, the demon reality seed was planted, and MTV launched several more abhorrent reality shows throughout the years, each one more predictable than the next.

I thought, given the summary of my feelings on the matter, that I had a stance on reality TV. I stood far away from it and mocked those of lesser intelligence who followed it. That is until, MTV's Jersey Shore came into my life.

It was a regular Sunday, over at my good friends the Parkers, awaiting a day of movies, burritos, and too much wine with the girls. I took my seat on the couch and patiently waited for the end of the show they were in the middle of so we could watch a chick flick.

And then I saw them...Seven people on screen looking the shade of burnt oranges, drinking something that looked like cough syrup, and swearing so much that you could not even make out the full sentence over the beep-outs. I found myself mesmerized. A combination of the accents, cursing, tattoos, hairspray, implants, juiced muscles, and general skin tone created a vortex of ghetto that tantalized my senses. I wanted to be right there with them- wearing rhinestone clothes, doing cartwheels in a thong and pumping my fists. And just when I didn't think it could get better, they started to beat the shit out of people during a bar fight. It was inexplicable, unreasonable, irrational, and against my better judgement- the stuff of epic romance. I was in love.

And like people in deep infatuation- I found I could not stop talking about them. The emotionally stunted relationship between Sam and Ronnie, PaulyD's Caddilac tattoo and 20 minute blowout hair, Snookies self loathing and pickle sucking, J-Wows left hook, Vinnys take on life and EVERYTHING about Mike "the situation". It seems Jshore has taken a different route. Instead of cramming in people with differences- they have played on the one commonality of "Trash as Royalty" and what is left is a race to the throne for our viewing pleasure.

Where did this come from? How did this phenomenon take place? Perhaps it just brings to the surface the reality that we all have a little bit of Jshore in us. Maybe deep down, we too want to bumpit our hair, tan till we look like human handbags, dance like we know how, and cut a bitch when she messes with us. Watching these seemingly regular average people is like watching your regular average self...all hopped up on your trashiest of tendencies. And in the most counter-intuitive way, it feels AMAZING!

And so, I call you to action. Come and watch the first show worth the hype that MTV has produced since 1992. Not because its smart. Not because its witty. Not because you will be a better person for it. But because it is entertaining! Lets put aside House, mute NPR, shut off CNN online, and put down the Wall Street Journal. For the next 60 minutes lets watch the mutants dance off at "Sleaze Side Heights". Let's learn the slang and "situations" that will rocket us into our own pop culture whirlwind and not be ashamed!

Time to GTL. Peace.