BiggityBuzz

Wall Street smells like Patchouli

2011-10-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

And now for something surprising.

I don't like Wall Street. I don't like the bailout. I don't like they way they all bitched this up and now they want the power back. It's like a teenager wrapping a car around a tree and asking to borrow the rental three days later. Slow your roll, morons. Capitalism is not and should not be synonymous with Greedy Motherf*ckers. I don't like Wall Street. But you know what I like less?

Those god damned protesters.

I know, I generally am all in favor of a protest. But these people are giving us Liberals a bad name. And frankly, if they are turning me off, they are in some trouble. I should be proverbaly blowing them...and still may. If they take my advice and change the following:

1) Get a cohesive missions statement and reason for occupation of major financial districts. Idiots, the point of "occupying" should not be because you have nothing better to do because you lack occupation. What are you doing there? What do you hope to gain? What is your end goal? If nobody knows the answer to these questions and you are not all answering them all the same...go home. Nobody ever accomplished shit in such a disorganized fashion.

2) If you are under the age of 25 and have never held a job or made a payment to a loan, please take your signage and get in before curfew. After gainfully employed and not living with mom and dad, you may wager an opinion on the matter quietly. Little young people who have never worked and were just doing keg stands last spring should not be speaking to wall street on anyones behalf.

3) Put your acoustic guitar down and cut your hair, you dreadlocked fucking hippie ass lunatic. In marketing we often talk about knowing your audience. Is the understanding that the suits on Wall Street are to take you and your shirts made of hemp seriously? I see you on the news, talking about 800 reasons you are there, singing "He's got the whole world in his hands" and picking bed bugs off each others baja ponchos. You are laughable and a waste of time. Clean it up!

4) Put your weed down and come up with a solution based conversation. Is it just me or are all of you having way too much FUN there? A little less pot and a little more thought into what your end goal is. This is why nobody is taking you seriously. You're not saying anything worth taking seriously. Even in the '60's they took care of the business of a protest first. Why? Because protest should result in desired change.

5) Get better slogans...and signage. C'mon kids. You're on TV. Get it together.

In closing, and in all seriousness, I don't disagree with what I *think* they are trying to do. I disagree with such a terrible approach. With no, dare I say, business tactics behind this- the idea will run out of steam and they will be remembered as a Saturday Night Live joke. They do the Left more harm than good because they are uneducated on the issues and want for different things- some noble, some just as selfish and greedy as the corporations they protest.

Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

Steve Jobs- iLegend

2011-10-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

While the death of Steve Jobs saddens me- I have to say, sometimes when an artist dies young, you respect the work just a little more. As I said last night on Facebook, it is a true testament that I found out about his death- on my iPhone.

What I have found interesting over the last day or so, is not that people have been mourning his death- but more that he is not being so much hailed for his iphones and macbook airs. He is being quoted and remembered as a true innovator of life.

When it comes to a legacy, I think its far better to be remembered for how you lived and thought- than for a thing you invented or created.

Some quotes I liked today:

"This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."- Steve Jobs (Commencement Speech, 2005).

"You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life……The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it." - SJobs

High Heels got you Down?

2011-05-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

Spring has sprung, and so have the high heels, open toes, and strappy sandals for women and light loafered men everywhere. So- a quick post to clue in the clueless.

You should not rock the open toe stiletto if:

1. You are over 55 years and you look it. Honey, the glory days have gone bye bye. And I get it, it sucks. And I know looking at you, and your varicose veins and your sagging skin that lost all elasticity that someday, I will be in your boat. But do us all a favor, accept your age and place in life and slip on some Dr. Scholls and let us take it from here. Every spring has a winter.

2. You are in the ballpark of 300-350lbs. Have you ever seen way too much ice cream piled on top of a thin little sugar cone? Your first thought is always “damn, that shit is going to topple over”. …That might be enough said there.

3. Your toe-nails look like something you would find on a creature in Middle Earth. There is really no need for humans to have talons. Ladies, trim that shit. And keep in mind your pedicure is always at least 5 feet away- so slap some paint on those babies if you can’t make it in for a pedi. Having said that- make it in for a pedi! Everyone feels better after a soak and sluff and you are no different.

4. When you wear heels, you walk as though you just got slammed up the ass by a stallion stud horse. Yeah, there is no ladylike or delicate way to say this, because that is exactly what it looks like. It’s like this: shoulders back, move the hips, strike at the ball of the foot, and walk like you mean it. If you cannot do that, these are not the shoes for you. I can’t wear a size 2…you can’t wear a stiletto. Life sucks sometimes.

5. You failed to shave…for the better part of a month. People are looking. After they notice, they tell their friends. You know that feeling you get that everyone is talking about you? They are. Take a razor to your gorilla leg. And if you have to question it- wear pants.

6. You are at a sporting event, a picnic, an outing, or something else casual in which heels would be grossly inappropriate. Say it with me Carrie Bradshaw- Flip Flops. Nobody thinks you look cute here. People are either wondering what is wrong with you, or they are feeling bad for you. Women think you look dumb and kind of slutty. Men think you are dumb….and, well, kind of slutty. Essentially you look dumb and slutty. Now, if that is the look you are going for- by all means- forge ahead. If not, switch it on up.

The Tainted Saint (haha...taint)

2011-05-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

With the fastest beautification of an individual in modern times occurring this week, it makes me wonder about saints in general. Most of the ones I am familiar with are ancient relics in the Christian tradition. They are prayed to for their particular strengths and will guide you through your life.

I used to think of the saints as God’s assistant managers…Potentially at a company called Heaven, Inc. God is a busy dude, as are most CEO’s. The saints are dispatched because he is probably working on bigger things in the global infrastructure. It makes sense from an organizational standpoint. “Christopher, you have the transportation division.” “Anthony, you are now the VP of the lost and found department.” “Frances, handle livestock…but don’t let me catch you again with those sheep…”

But do saints have a dark side? Pope John Paul II is being hi-fived for his work on trying to unify all religions. To some he was a religious beacon. And a major point of achievement being discussed was his acts of repentment of the Catholic Church for the errors and horrors committed through centuries.
…

Through the centuries? Would that include the 20th? How is the Catholic Church SERIOUSLY ignoring the fact that under this pope, pedophiles who were and are rampant among the priesthood were shuffled around like a deck of cards. The current pope Benedict stated that John Paul was placed on the fast track to saint hood because of the “extraordinary sanctity of his life”.

This is where the Catholic Church kills me. It would be funny if it were not so disturbing and sad. To me, this is yet another example in piss poor communications and zero acknowledgement of wrong-doing that has been tearing the Catholics apart since the break of this scandal. And what an incredible slap in the face to the abuse victims that we are now sainting the man who not only knew about the problem, but contributed to it and had beyond the power to put an end to it.

I am aware this is getting a bit “ranty” (yes, it’s a word). But accountability is not about placing blame. Accountability is about accepting and admitting mistakes and learning from them to ensure they will not happen again. My outrage comes from the fact that the Catholic Church continually and brazenly likes to move beyond the problem, dodge the question, avoid the apology, and remain superior. They are the classic school bully that gets his ass kicked and still tries to terrorize students. Nobody is scared anymore. You are off the pedestal. They dropped a house on you. Be humble, be sorry, show true remorse, and stop being a dick.

Next up for canonization: Jeffrey Dahmer, the unibomber, and the executive team from Enron.

ugh...age

2011-03-16T20:11:00.001-07:00

There was a time I spent my Birthdays out, and drunk, no matter when they fell during the week. Now, alas, 49 minutes to go and where am I? Showered, in bed, with anti aging serum on my face, blogging.............Fine, there is a cat in here too. My how things change.

But with age, comes wisdom. In my 29 years I have come to recognize things in myself that I am pretty sure are not changing, no matter the year. Here are a few:

I like boys who open doors for me. While I can be a little less than ladylike and a little more than rough around the edges at times, I appreciate men who show me chivalry is indeed alive and kicking, even if difficult to find.

I hate bleu cheese. I like cheese of all other variety. But the Bleus are my southern republican white trash Christians of cheese. I really don't like them.

I really don't like southern republican white trash christians. I'm not even sorry. I welcome all other race and orientation. I even welcome a different political view. But there are some people who fit a certain bill for me and I simply don't care for it. Blanket judgement? Sure. But this is my blog. Suck it.

I only like Haribro gummy bears. And at that- the original bears of Haribro. No other gummy will do.

I think there is some truth to almost ever conspiracy theory. Marilyn Monroe, JFK, Princess Di, I buy at least 33% of the theoretical circumstances.

Friendships are relationships too. You still have to make sure you are not being an asshole just because you don't bone your friends.

Relationships should be friendships with boning. But still...don't be an asshole.

Cookie dough is better than cookies. No...seriously.

Good steak is meant to be rare of medium. If I ever open a high quality steak house and people ask for well done, I will not serve them the good stuff and instead keep horse meat in the back.

Jesus was a pothead. I'm telling you, the man was a down guy, and I am pretty sure he would not have rolled with the people who are so into him now. He would have rolled with me and my friends, had some drinks, and told us about how the purity festival was lame.

bi WINNING

2011-03-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

Charlie Sheen is creating inspiration. Let’s face it. The one liners are worth millions in tee shirt sales alone. I will include some of my “Bi Winners” later in the post. In the meantime, I’d like to discuss other starlets and they also got a bad rep by going banana sandwiches in front of a camera. (list provided by Boston.com)

Alec Baldwin's harsh voicemail to his 11-year-old daughter Ireland in which he calls her a "rude, thoughtless little pig" quickly circulated through the media. PLEASE- If I had a nickel every time I was called out on my bullshit when I was 11! And if I had submitted that shit to the media, I would have been a pig with an ass whooping besides. Princess had it coming- keep in mind what side your bread is buttered on, honey. Alec 1- daughter 0

Isaiah Washington used an antigay slur to refer to costar T.R. Knight in 2006, he upset castmates and forced Knight to go public with his homosexuality. At the Golden Globes, Washington grabbed the microphone to publicly deny his comment. The actor has since issued a public apology and attended anger management classes.- Gay. TR Knight was FORCED to come out? Gay. We all knew he was gay. Gays Anatomy. Here is the chance of a lifetime to man up and demonstrate a thick skin for your GLBT community- and instead you cry like a fairy. Isaiah did TR a favor- and then TR gave his community a terrible look. Isaiah 1- Knight 0

Foxy Brown gained a reputation for her explosive temper, beginning in 1997 when she spat on hotel workers in North Carolina for failing to provide her with an iron. Since then, she's skipped out on court dates, lashed out at manicurists, and thrown shampoo at a beauty salon employee. The rapper's troubles eventually landed her a year in jail.- Listen…when you taste just like Candy, and want to dance, you really need shit to go your way. Rock on Foxy…Rock on. Foxy 1- maids 0

Björk - In 1996, the singer let her temper take over when she attacked a British reporter in a Thailand airport who told her "Welcome to Bangkok." Björk later apologized to the reporter, who did not file any charges. Bangkok…only the funniest place in the world. Kudos to the reporter. But Bjork is no fool. She is an Icelandic singer. What did she sing? No idea. In fact the only way anyone was going to know who she is long term is if she wears a swan dress and cuts a reporter in an airport. Bjork 1- Bangkok 0

Charlie Sheen- This dude is KILLING it. Here he is taking his mental breakdown and not giving a FUCK! He is not really acting out and insulting anyone. He is really more self promoting- and I DIG that about him. His whole deal is “Hey, I’m Charlie Sheen, I take tin cans and make them gold. I have a briefcase full of blow and I’m not afraid to do it off a hookers ass on the Today show. I cured myself with my mind. I have the blood of a tiger. Blow me, America. Smooches”. Charlie 100- haters 0

Enjoy the soundboard:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/soundboards/play/81342498

don't play tag with the bus...

2011-03-01T10:18:00.000-08:00

I used to have a 7th grade teacher who used to use the phrase "don't play tag with the bus". I hated her. So did my sister. So did my mom, in fact. She was unaware of her age and the fact that it, combined with her ever expanding ass, made most of what she wore inappropriate.

However, even assholes can provide the occasional bit of good advice- which I think this is. Thus, lets talk about this dude plowing over protesters on bikes in Brazil.

Now, I must admit, I have a bit of a road rage issue. I'm not angry to drive, I love driving. I have a great car and a fantastic musical selection. I get annoyed with idiots. People who lack the understanding of the zipper system for merging onto the highway (you go, I go, you go, I go). Drifters- also a peeve of mine. And while I used to get angry with joggers and cyclists and did not want to share the road- now that I am a jogging moron at night- nearly plowed overall the time, I have developed patience.

What gets me about this dude in the car is his statement after...

"I felt threatened by the cyclists."

....um....really guy? You are in a CAR. Surrounded by reinforced walls, with a motor and a bumper. What is the worst they could have been doing? Blowing Brazilian raspberries at you? Don't be a bad liar. People sympathize more with honesty.

"These people were really irritating me. Who protests on bikes? Like protests were not annoying enough...now they are doing it in spandex with helmets. What are we protesting anyways? We are Brazil. We have soccer, waxed vahoo-hoos and BBQ on a stick by a beach. Who is unhappy here? In short, I ran them down for my country." SOLD!

My Journey with MTV's Jersey Shore!

2010-01-15T23:32:00.000-08:00

When I was in middle school MTV began producing a show called "The Real World". I watched the first season, which was a fairly accurate depiction of a few select people trying to live together in a sweet house, while drinking nightly to lower their inhibitions and make some bad decisions in the hot tub (the best shows have hot tubs).

I stopped watching after that season because the subtleties died. Its no mystery what will happen when you cram a house with a clan member, african american, right wing gay- hater, flamboyant queen, devil worshiper, and bible beating christian who sees jesus in her toast. The psychological nuances of interpersonal relationships became a common day 'bread and circus' which I protested. However, the demon reality seed was planted, and MTV launched several more abhorrent reality shows throughout the years, each one more predictable than the next.

I thought, given the summary of my feelings on the matter, that I had a stance on reality TV. I stood far away from it and mocked those of lesser intelligence who followed it. That is until, MTV's Jersey Shore came into my life.

It was a regular Sunday, over at my good friends the Parkers, awaiting a day of movies, burritos, and too much wine with the girls. I took my seat on the couch and patiently waited for the end of the show they were in the middle of so we could watch a chick flick.

And then I saw them...Seven people on screen looking the shade of burnt oranges, drinking something that looked like cough syrup, and swearing so much that you could not even make out the full sentence over the beep-outs. I found myself mesmerized. A combination of the accents, cursing, tattoos, hairspray, implants, juiced muscles, and general skin tone created a vortex of ghetto that tantalized my senses. I wanted to be right there with them- wearing rhinestone clothes, doing cartwheels in a thong and pumping my fists. And just when I didn't think it could get better, they started to beat the shit out of people during a bar fight. It was inexplicable, unreasonable, irrational, and against my better judgement- the stuff of epic romance. I was in love.

And like people in deep infatuation- I found I could not stop talking about them. The emotionally stunted relationship between Sam and Ronnie, PaulyD's Caddilac tattoo and 20 minute blowout hair, Snookies self loathing and pickle sucking, J-Wows left hook, Vinnys take on life and EVERYTHING about Mike "the situation". It seems Jshore has taken a different route. Instead of cramming in people with differences- they have played on the one commonality of "Trash as Royalty" and what is left is a race to the throne for our viewing pleasure.

Where did this come from? How did this phenomenon take place? Perhaps it just brings to the surface the reality that we all have a little bit of Jshore in us. Maybe deep down, we too want to bumpit our hair, tan till we look like human handbags, dance like we know how, and cut a bitch when she messes with us. Watching these seemingly regular average people is like watching your regular average self...all hopped up on your trashiest of tendencies. And in the most counter-intuitive way, it feels AMAZING!

And so, I call you to action. Come and watch the first show worth the hype that MTV has produced since 1992. Not because its smart. Not because its witty. Not because you will be a better person for it. But because it is entertaining! Lets put aside House, mute NPR, shut off CNN online, and put down the Wall Street Journal. For the next 60 minutes lets watch the mutants dance off at "Sleaze Side Heights". Let's learn the slang and "situations" that will rocket us into our own pop culture whirlwind and not be ashamed!

Time to GTL. Peace.

World Series 2009- the night New England watched House re-runs

2009-11-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

There is an age old philosophical question- If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is there, does it make a sound?

I will pose that to you with a different twist- If the Yankees won the World Series, and nobody watched it, did it even happen?

The answer is- probably. And while many in Philly and Boston are bitter and jaded by the overpaid, over hyped, under worked, heartless team located in NYC- I suppose it is time to congratulate them.

I'm not going to discuss key points of the game, or their season. I'm not going to call their players names, or say Jeter likes man-ass, or Arod is a little bitch who eats steroids on his breakfast cereal. Clearly, I'm above such nonsense. I will however say this- the only thing the Yanks remained consistent on is their increasing budget. They have proved that eventually, money might buy you a win.

Its a lack of Team that bothers me about the Yanks and always has. I know people may say I am bias on this, but watching a team like the Yanks win this series is just not as cool as say, the '04 "cowboy up" attitude and unity that the Sox had winning theirs. In my opinion, watching the Yankees play is about as thrilling as watching an accountant do my taxes.

The Yankees back stab each other. They talk shit in press conferences about their teammates. Torre wrote a book about the shenanigans in NY. They violate the code of sportsmanship with each other. Each one of them is an entitled, self serving player. They are the boys of summer turned men of business on the ball field. The Yanks, for years now, never let people forget, this is their job. In general, the entire organization has forgotten how lucky they are to play the great game of baseball for a living.

And so, while New England channel surfed last night, the NY Yankees finally became contenders again. The price? About a billion dollars over the years and the sacrifice of Americas past time. And while something tells me they won't have it in them to keep the wins consistent next year, may the best team, be the best.

And ps- Arod likes dick. :)

I don't care who you are....midgets are funny

2009-11-04T14:23:00.000-08:00

So, I'm sitting on the sofa the other night, flipping through my new series of HD channels, and come across a show on TLC that features a "little person" (midget) who's regular sized mom is taking horseback riding. Mom is on a regular horse- Midget is on a "dwarf pony". I proceeded to laugh till I nearly peed my pants.

I'd like to speak a bit about the emerging trend lately that midgets (aka dwarfs, funny lil' bastards) are people with feelings. I'm kidding, of course...mostly.

I'm going to go out an a limb here (albeit a short one, haha, get it?) and say I am am tired of the whining that is happening with the little people in the world! So you were born small. So yours is a background and culture of circus people and the lollipop guild. When did we become SO PC in this country that little people lack a sense of humor? You are FUNNY! Everything about you is funny! From your tiny hands to your oddly regular sized heads.

Now, I know- I have lost some of you here. I assure you, I try to do my part in not being a total A-hole. I don't watch Little People Big World because I know its not "supposed" to be funny. I have fought the urge to hire midgets for my annual St. Pattys Day Bday party and have them dress as leprechaun and hand out fake gold to my guests (although, never say never). And I do not go out of my way to seek them out and cackle at them (because it is very hard to find the support group locations online).

If I were a "little person", you can bet your normal, regular sized arse that I would not be crying about my lack of equality, the height of a urinal, the placement of doorknobs or motion detectors. I'd have a sense of humor about it for the sake of Christ! If little people don't understand that they are funny without trying to be- what kind of a world are we living in?!

Mini me, that dude from Jackass, all of munchkin' land, Snow White's posse, Santa's workshop- these people have it MADE! It's like they get to be awesome without even trying and we have to sit there and hear about what a difficult life they have? God even made them dwarf ponies to ride! Shit- the guy from Elf was even kind of good looking! Cirque de Solei has an open invite for them to be in the shows! Boo-Hoo...tough life!

So, in closing, good things come in small packages. To the midgets of the world, I say own it. People don't want to hear you bitch and cry that you are tiny. They want to see you dance because dancing midgets are HILARIOUS. So dance, little person, dance as much as those stubby legs will allow. And thank you for bringing me joy.

Pitiful

2009-11-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

Pitiful- Synonyms- ineptitude, inadequacy. This is how I am feeling about my blogging as of late. About to make a conscious effort to be better. Read on...read on.

Apparently some things you just don't get from book learnin'

2009-05-04T12:43:00.000-07:00

Philip Markoff has shocked the nation-especially the east coast- as the blond haired, blue- eyed, all American dream boy who has been charged with the craigslist robberies and killing of a "masseuse" in a back bay hotel.

No doubt, these crimes are terrible and the victims deliberately chosen as members of society that will be unable to have a voice or go to law enforcement for help. As for the punishment- that's between Markoff and the law. But it still begs the question- How the FUCK is a BU med student THIS dumb?!?

Boston University Medical School...A program that requires a mean 4.0 gpa and top test scores- Accepts a dip shit that collects the underpants of his victims, texts from the crime scene, leaves a fingerprint, still has the gun, and my favorite- has NO conception of the fact that in a HOTEL there are likely security cameras in the hallways, stairwells, at all exits, and in the elevator's.

I mean, you have to be crazy to shoot an Innocent woman three times at close range- but do you have to be stupid too? This "star" student logged hours upon hours in labs and libraries and does not understand basic evidence 101?

This is by no means advocacy that Markoff had done a better job. Personally, I think those who prey on the disadvantaged of society (meaning people unable to get help or advocacy) should fry. But come ON. A little law and order? CSI- Miami? Cold Case files?

This is a simple case of either mental retardation- in which case I think BU Medical should probably raise the bar a little bit. Or this dude was just arrogant enough to really think that nobody would pin it on the rich over- privileged white boy.

I'm glad his fiancee called off the wedding. I think the only honeymoon this kid will be having is in the slammer with a huge degenerate criminal nicknamed "Drill".

McNugget woman is my hero!

2009-03-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

If someone steals your money- do you call the police? Most would say yes.

I find more and more that the news media is becoming the quintessential slippery used car salesman of society. Headlines are misleading, people misrepresented, and the spin is always bias. It seems in an attempt to gain popularity and readership, the media will stop at nothing- even sacrifice the innocent for a good spin.

Case in point- Latreasa Goodman is currently being painted the crazy lady from Florida who called 911 because McDonald's was out of McNuggets. Headlines mock her, people chastise her, and I was ready to get a good laugh out of her myself...until I read the story.

The media, in short blurbs and headlines, would have you believe this lady called the cops because McDonald's didn't have nuggets. Only when you read down to the 6TH paragraph of most news stories do you see what really happened- that McDonald's TOOK her money after she ordered McNuggets- only to then tell her they didn't have them -and then refused to refund her money and tried to make her order something else on the menu.

"The manager just took my money and won't give me my money back, trying to make me get something off the menu that I don't want," Goodman said in one of the 911 calls. "I ordered chicken nuggets. They don't have chicken nuggets, and so I told her, 'Just give me my money back,' and she tells me I have to pick something else off the menu. She is not going to give me my money back, and she don't have the right to take my money."

"If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one."

Goodman told WPBF News 25 that she didn't "have a right to jump across the counter and snatch the money, so chose to handle it another way."

This is not about chicken McNuggets. This is about theft. This lady gave $6 for a product and then was not refunded when the product was not available. That is unacceptable. When she called 911- they did not direct her to the non- emergency line. Instead they did not help her so she could further become a laughing stock.

So what do we do as a society? We blame her for the fact that a corporation stole her money. We mock her for going against her baser instincts to jump across the counter and take her money out of the register (for which she would have been arrested) and laugh at her for being so concerned about her hard earned 6 dollars.

Should she have called 911? There were absolutely better ways to go about it. But this lady felt robbed and there was nothing she could do about it. For her- 911 meant involving the police. Because when you are victimized- the police are supposed to help.

I stand behind Goodman and I look down on the Media once again. The news media should be an outlet to uncover injustice- not perpetuate it.

"When you feel that you've been mistreated or misused or robbed out of your money, you have the right to call 911," Goodman said. "That's the purpose of 911, so I thought."

You're my hero of the week Latreasa Goodman!

Blast from the past- my Vday blog from 2006

2009-02-16T13:03:00.000-08:00

Tuesday, January 24, 2006
F-U Saint Valentine!Current mood: productiveCategory: Life

Well its that time of year again. You can tell. A mood sweeps across the nation right around this time . You find yourself wondering when hearts came back in style and why retail stores insist on draping everything in pepto- bismal pink. Then it occurs to you...It is Valentines Day season.

There it is, plain as day. So many shades or pink and red you swear you have gone colorblind, or at least that the rest of the world has because you know full well pink and red clash and should not ever be displayed together (note the blog color scheme). Shelves are stacked with candy that is 50% pure sugar and 50% monosodiumphenophenotalbicarbonate. And everywhere you go, a fat, naked, little winged creature is holding a bow and arrow...mocking you.

I am Anti-Valentines Day ( in case you didn’t gather from the subject of this blog). And to all you people who are pro Valentines day, well I say F-U TOO! And I am also all done with the people who say "Ohh But you are in a relationship this year, so you can't hate Valentines day!" Excuse me, but just because I am in a relationship on February 14th, 2006 does not mean that years of VDay TRAUMA are magically erased from my brain! It is people like you- you sick lovey dovey bastards that make the world the terrible place it is today.

I am sure you were the ones, the people in the jewelry stores, and the dress shops, and buying outfits and making dinner reservations, getting roses and (gag me) carnations, going away for the weekend like this is some long awaited holiday that we should all respect and cherish!
Well I was doing a little bit of different shopping whilst you were choking down a candy heart (that NOBODY really likes by the way) I was with the rest of the singles for years, being shady while we purchased things like rope, tarp, lye, cyanide, razorblades, Jack Daniels, shovels, duck tape, fishing twine, valium, and poison Ivy. You didn't know what we were doing with the goods. And you didn't ask either...The foreboding, distant look in our eye was enough to send you screaming back to your 88 pound boy-toy, who was currently at the wal-mart counter buying you an ugly teddy bear and a cubic zirconia bracelet. You lucky lady.

Bitter? Yes. It all started on Valentines day 2000 when we had to put my beloved childhood cat Oreo to sleep. Follow that up with YEARS of unrequited love, not to mention the very bad ruby incident of 2002. After that it was Februarys filled with darkness and evil, being haunted by the seemingly happy blissful couples, sent by Satan to remind you that you are alone, rejected, and miserable.

My response? FUCK Valentines Day. Not just when you are single. But FOREVER. Do not let couples, marrieds, or Hallmark dictate your happiness! Screw Cupid, Screw Saint Valentine, and screw all of the VDay celebrators! It is the pussified American public that continues this mockery of a day, and I am doing my part to put a stop to it!

Thank you for your time!

I'm with Palestine

2009-01-07T11:47:00.000-08:00

I don't usually spend a lot of time on the Middle East. To me it's all generally been warfare and fights about who God likes best with people going back hundreds of years. Mostly I feel as thought its too big to wrap my mind around. And it is hard to form an opinion or take a side on people who seemingly lack the ability to live and let live, separate church and state, not strap bombs to their chests and blow up schools or blanket bomb civilians. I guess I always wondered "WTF are these people so pissed off for all the time"?.

This situation in the Gaza strip has made me do some research of my own. And for the first time in my life I think I am making a stand for myself on one side of this middle eastern mess...I'm with Palestine.

I know, I know- I can already feel the eyebrows raising and the stare downs. But from what I have read- you have two peoples- Israelis and Palestinians. After WWII the US felt bad about the fact that many of the Jews said the reason they had no safe harbor is because they had no homeland- no area which they could support or defend. So the US looked around the globe and said here- Take this lot of desert.

We ignored the fact that there were some other people living on that plot of land at the time. But lets face it- that's never really phased the US before (hi pilgrims and Indians).

Palestinians were living there- some chose to leave, many were forced out. Israel took its country and borders very seriously. Many Palestinians were like "Dude- you cannot create a country on our country! This one is ours!" And nobody listened. Palestinians were forced out to neighboring Arab countries where they were not accepted because there are so many of them. Middle Eastern people are very tribal- nobody wants the Palestinians coming in and out numbering a tribe to make a new Palestine. So they live in horrific refugee camps- pissed off- for the last 60 years.

To me, this is the equivalent to moving a big part of Texas on Massachusetts and now calling us Texas. Boston Cream Pie, Lobster, Seafood dinners will all be replaced with Pork rinds, beef, and lard. The red sox will be gone and the patriots replaced with the cowboys. The drawl and twang will replace the dropping of the "r". You are only accepted here if you are Texan. Current residents will be displaced and no other state will accept them- so they will live in camps as a forgotten and wandering people. This would suck. We would resent the new Texas, not recognize it, hate it and everything it stands for, rebel against it, and in general become a real pain in it's ass.

Israel took many steps over the past several decades to expand their territory all the while forcing more and more Palestinians out. Then they took Jerusalem and made it their capital- forcing more Palestinians out. Then the Palestinians got together and decided to do a free and democratic election (something that GW Bush took a MAJOR victory lap on). And who did they elect? A terrorist funded organization called Hamas who promised to get them more land and resources. And what did the US do? We created and EMBARGO on them because we didn't like who they elected in their free and democratic elections. So the past years have been miserable for them without trade, money or funding. And we wonder why they are pissed off? REALLY?

In this past battle as Israel applied pressure- the Hamas leaders responded with rockets over to Israel- killing 4 Israelis. THe response? A shitshow, being called a mini-Holocaust, in the Gaza strip- killing hundreds of Palestinian civilians, including children.

My issue- the Palestinians cannot catch a damn break. We know they can't because we make sure of it. Israel is a very civilized, educated, well organized country in theory- with excellent military resources. I cannot imagine that they would want this kind of bloodshed to continue- but now they seem to be enjoying it. It seems to me that a country made up of people who were trying to escape persecution and extinction for their beliefs- should not turn around and do the same thing to another group of people!

There is only so much desert. And if the Israelis cannot figure out a way to share- and give the Palestinians some peace and a country to call their own the same way Israel needed it- I say Israel is in the wrong and doesn't deserve what they got.

To persecute a group of people, create no win situations, make them destitute, and in general treat them like they don't matter- will do nothing but breed centuries of contempt, ill will, and desperation to do whatever means necessary to get more, be more, and have more. We cannot continue to both create our own worst enemies and punish them.

The Boy Who Lived

2008-11-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

If you have ever read book one, chapter one of Harry Potter- the feeling was quite reminiscent today. People huddled up around coffee makers and water coolers, Dunkin Donuts lines, cashiers, cafeterias- all weary eyed and yet talking excitedly. Voldermort (or in this case Bush and his republican regime) is at an end. Better times are coming.

And so we hope- as is the new motto of this neo-democratic party- that things will improve. I noticed today that the rest of the world seems as excited about the choice we made as I am. Foreign presidents and dignitaries raved. Barack Obama made the front page of almost every paper all over the GLOBE today. Finally a ray of light in America. America wants change.

If anyone traveled outside the US in the past 8 years (or read a paper) you understand the negative view the rest of the world had on us. We did not lead by example or embrace what a superpower should. Today I heard the heads of state from almost every European nation endorse the president elect. In Kenya- they danced in the streets.

More impressive was the speech last night given to hundreds of thousands of people gathered in Chicago. We passed power over peacefully, with dignity, and got a record number of people not only interested and educated about our election- but to the polls.

This is two orders of business complete and the man is not even sworn in yet. Just in name he has mended a lot of the foreign hurt done by the Bush administration. Other countries are excited about us, looking up to us as a progressive nation again. And he brought millions of people out to the polls- several first time voters- making all of those people invested in their country. And an invested citizen is a better citizen. We are already a stronger nation because of yesterday and the Obama campaigns ability to organize and inspire.

Race did not help him- but more surprisingly it did not hurt him. He is not just a black man- he is a man with good ideas regardless of his race. And unfortunately those who believe he was elected because he is African-American, or think he is still a dangerous secret Muslim terrorist- will never think otherwise- as clearly these people at this point are not open-minded enough to see the good that has been done for us as a Nation in 24 hours, regardless of his politics.

So come January starts his real work. Time will tell how he does. But in the first 24hrs- I still have to say- to me he is the boy who lived.

Late night thoughts from Nov 4, 2008

2008-11-04T22:36:00.001-08:00

I should be going to sleep at this late hour but I felt like I should record my thoughts on this historic night. This post will be more stream of consciousness- and probably not funny.

This evening, November 4th, 2008 Barack Obama won the election for president of the united states. I took the day out of work due to a late meeting and the fact I could hardly focus on anything else for the past few months. This was the world series, Superbowl, Olympics, and Christmas all tied into one for me.

Being from new England- land of athletic heartbreak- and a natural Irish pessimist I did not want to get ahead of myself all day. I did not want to think of victory for my candidate. I wondered why I was so excited.

This is my third election I have voted in- and the first time my candidate has won. It's brings with it an indescribable sense of pride. And for me- one of the first times in my adult life I can recall being truly proud to be an American. I know, I'll get eye rolls and criticism for that comment- but its true for me. I was raised in a city with more underprivilege than thankfully I ever had to see. I am and always have been a liberal democrat- and never even knew till I got to college that "Liberal" had become a derogatory word. I've always believed in people first- basic rights and protection of the rights and civil liberties we are all entitled to- and that a free ride and a fair chance are not the same thing.

I oppose so much of what the other half of our two party system here holds dear. I do not think they are without positives- but for me, simply not enough for them to be in power. I see so little good and benefit in what they have done historically. Perhaps this is why I have never felt as committed or attached to the country as I do now.

So why is Obama my president? Well he has some good ideas- he has some not so good ideas. I don't think my taxes will suddenly drop in January and I'll suddenly be able to buy that new bag guilt free. I'm not sure if my taxes will drop at all given the financial state we are in. But I believe in this person we elected tonight. When he speaks I want to get up and go do something- whatever I can to make my country great. The house, senate, bills, laws, plans, policies- these are all things both parties can contribute to. But with a president who can move and motivate a country- it makes us a stronger nation. A true superpower. America.

My father and Grandfather were war vets. My grandparents on the other side immigrated here from Italy. My mother has been teaching American Political Science for 30plus years. I was raised to be a proud American. But since I have been able to vote it has not just been that my side has lost- but that the side that won seemed to bring down the USA. There was not hope and optimism- there was fear, controversy, and deception. That is not a country I can be proud of- with all benefits I know it has- in my adult life it has been sold short of potential and short of pride.

Tonight for the first time I see an America that I want to live in. A country other nations of the world can look up to once again. And A place where I am sure my niece and other children will prosper- no matter what they want to be. I looked at her tonight as she fell asleep in a chair while watching the electoral map (sure to zonk out any three year old). I'm excited to one day be able to tell her how it used to be for me- and how it changed for me. How America did not let me down and how I didn't feel so alone in my desire to see things better. To not be okay with the status quo and not be labeled as "Un-American" for saying it out loud. To work for a cause or fight for a country and build something worth saving and worth protecting.

A long road is ahead but I feel confident about who we put in place tonight. I feel for the first time that is MY president. It is great to feel part of a country once again. I hope it lasts.

Barack-Star

2008-10-30T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ok- SO odds are you are not going to watch all 27 minutes of this video. Barack Obama bought out a prime time 30 minute spot to run something of an "infomercial" last night. How are we not motivated by this guy?! I think this was a great way to reach a more massive audience and spread a message of hope and optimism. The short video aspect reaches across age groups.

Overall I think this was a ballsy move for the Obama campaign. He has a lead in the polls but for such a close race, the poll lead is not exactly the best measurement here. What people will say to a pollster is not necessarily what they will do in the privacy of a voting booth.

So why was this a risky move? Obama has yet to really make a huge campaign blunder. A 30 min spot gone wrong could easily have done that. Most of the criticism he is getting today is that this was a puff piece to continue to gather him attention in an already Obama- saturated media. The McCain-Palin Campaign has been poking fun at him for the spot- Not surprising considering the lack of maturity and ridiculous antics of the McPalin duo thus far.

While Barack Obama was running this 30 min, positive, pro- America piece- McCain made more claims against him, calling him a socialist. Obama responded to McCain saying, "I don't know what's next. By the end of the week, he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich." (cnn.com).

Sarah Palin also did her part at a rally, calling out Obama on his dealings with terrorists turned celebrated university professors and neighbors. She then went shopping for a burberry bikini for her girl Friday photo-shoot. (jk). :)

Obama once again has distinguished himself by not engaging in these high school antics but rather focusing on his campaign and on Americans. His demeanor and dismissive attitude toward the McPalin's make their mud-slinging look even more embarrassing and childish. As more and more republicans start to abandon them, you have to wonder what the next 6 days will bring.

What party are you at?

2008-10-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

Pictured are two teenage skinheads who had plotted to kill several African American students and assassinate Senator Barack Obama.

Ok...I'll say it. OBVIOUSLY they are from Arkansas and Tennessee. Other red neck, country bumpkins describe these individuals as "outcasts". No kidding....

I'm afraid this will not be the last of the neo-nazi groups attempt to kill that which they fear or do not understand. I think it is a travesty and these people and all their freakish followers should be made an example out of.

Every once and awhile I think you need to look around and see what kind of a party you are at. If you are at a party where you and your friends are chillin' and having some drinks, and you look over and see the white supremacists skinheads are doing a keg stand, and the NRA fanatics are shooting bud cans off each others heads because they are "allowed" to, and the Christian Right is in the corner pouring over the blue prints of the local planned parenthood clinic...Why the fuck would you stay at that party? You need to LEAVE that party. Because it doesn't matter what you believe in when that's the shit going on in your party. You are ALIGNED with that party and if you are willing to be- something is a little OFF here.

We can all argue about economic plans, health care, wall street, foreign policy- we need both sides to discuss this stuff. But there are certain things that I think are non-negotiable. Civil rights, women's rights, gay rights, the ability to be who you are, fully American without fear or persecution. It is something I hope Americans will remember on November 4th.

Joe The PlumberBummer

2008-10-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

John McCain is still trying so hard to spin "Joe the Plumber" into something people can latch onto. Since Massachusetts is blue (and proud to be) I don't get to see a lot of the National ads that go around the country. So I like to youtube them to see what the swing states are seeing.

The ad is a sorry attempt at trying to make people fall for this Joe the Plumber bit. Probably because the "Joe the plumber" McCain tried to rally his party around is actually named Sam, is not a plumber, owes over a grand in back taxes, and would actually benefit from Obamas tax plan. Quite the Champion for your party, you ol' Maverick.

Not to mention the Ad makes ZERO sense! Are all these people making over 250K per year? And if so- we are supposed to leave them alone and give them tax breaks but tax to death people making less. And that system has done what for our Economy? Oh...right...NOTHING. All this "I am Joe the Plumber" stuff cracks me up- yeah...we are all Joe the Plumber- because none of us are Joes or Plumbers. Sweet!

It fascinates me that anyone from the middle class is going with McCain on this issue (and that anyone is even leaning McCain after the 8 year shit storm we have been in). Or that McCain would make such a huge blunder in rallying his party- almost as big a blunder as choosing a witless wonder as his running mate. And why do all these people have a TWANG? Is there a McCain supporter in the house that does NOT sound like Jeff Foxworthy?

These are not solutions, they are not smart choices, and they are not good ideas.

They are marketing and Advertising 101. The GOP pushes a fear based message to gain support. It is the same thing the WBush Administration started doing after 9/11. If they cannot sell you on it they make you afraid of it.

Don't get me wrong- It's REALLY productive marketing. You have to admit, it works. The Dem's have pushed a message of change, hope and progress. To me, that is a better message but much harder to get people on board with.

A true leader will rally people behind them through inspiration and ideals. Not through bullying and fear-tactics. Obama was 10pts ahead this morning. I'm holding my breath till NOV4 (GET OUT THE VOTE!!!!)

little DOGS!

2008-10-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

I'd like to discuss something that happened over at Green Tangerine during a routine eyebrow wax today.

Now I'm an animal lover, sure. But when did it become acceptable in society to bring a DOG with you wherever you go? And if you know what I'm talking about- its not just any dog- its a little dog- chiuaua, shitsu, and the like. With very typical Paris Hilton-esque owners.

Now- point A- While I was standing in line waiting to pay this Lady's little dog was sniffing around me, climbing my leg, and stunk to high heaven. I'm not even going to ask how this 60 year old woman can dress like she is 22, afford $167 highlights, a Gucci bag, and so much David Yurman she could hardly lift a wrist and yes COULD NOT afford to get her dog washed. While others cooed at it I was violated by it. I don't like her smelly dog and I really do not want it on me. Why is there a dog in here?!

Point B- this is dog discrimination. If I was getting my hair done, would I be allowed to bring in my doberman, pit bull, or great dane? No. And don't play the size card here as an argument. I'm sure they would be less than pleased if I hauled my cat in to sleep on a massage table during my appointment.

The point is- leave the little rat dogs at home. Assume all places except for parks and petco are dog free zones.

Womanizer

2008-10-22T08:36:00.000-07:00

Britney has done it again. She is the Teflon Bill Clinton of the pop world. The womanizer video was released today and it is HOT.

The song itself- like so many other Britney songs- I found totally annoying at first and then suddenly found myself humming it in the shower. It gets into your head like a very small but very real bullet. That nasal, synthesised voice seduces you. She is pop star gold. It runs in her white trash Alabama veins along side Funions, Cheetos, and Budweiser.

Judging from her birthday suit sauna scenes she has gotten that pre babies body back with a vengeance in large thanks to a combination of drugs, diet pills, personal chefs, and billions of dollars riding on her waistline.

But let's face it- its easy to take cheap shots at the trailer park prom queen. But I will give her credit too. Two babies later, fathered by the trailer park prom king, she has endured countless hits to her career and personal life. A year ago the world even got to watch as she she had a full blown nervous breakdown. And where is she today? Back on top of the charts with a music video that is currently being downloaded in the mental spank banks of men and confused girls aged 15-80.

She is not a role model, she is not healthy, smart, sophisticated, funny, or even remotely sane. But she is a damn good entertainer.

my first post

2008-10-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

I started blogging about three years ago- but not consistently. I seemed to only blog when I was outraged or really had something to say. In my old age I notice I have a lot more to say every day than I used to. SO I figured a blog would be a good place to start. I intend to write about politics, the state of the nation, music, movies, pop culture, food, and general annoyances.

thank you.